Today, my husband and I are celebrating four years of marriage! WhooHoo!

I get so excited every time this day comes around, not because of anticipated gifts or outings, but because it reminds me of my answered prayer.

You see, in my twenties I was a single mother of two girls, who had two different fathers. Though in the community I lived in and among my family this was accepted, I had also began to see that this wasn't normal for everyone and I began to understand how my situation could have an impact on me getting married. Because the reality is that no matter how forgiving a man is, he will always have to assess what he is walking into when making a commitment. In my earlier years all I could focus on was this, as I was clueless during those times about Redemption and Gods ability to turn any situation around. I had heard of His works, but didn't have a true understanding of them. So, I found myself questioning whether or not I would ever find someone who was willing to accept me, my girls AND their father issues.

As time progressed and I knew I wanted something different for my life I found myself frequently attending a specific church. I ultimately joined there, and made a decision to rededicate my life to Christ. As I began studying Gods word I made a promise to Him that I would remain single (no dating), if He would work in me to begin revealing areas in my life that needed healing. On this journey I asked God one thing, that if I remained true to Him that he send me a husband. From that point forward my walk of healing, restoration and singleness took place for 5 years! Yes.... 5 whole years! No dating. No sexual relations. I was determined to master the process of keeping my flesh in check. Something I had failed to do as a teen and young adult.

As my fifth year came to a close I found myself beginning to feel ready for marriage, as this time was not predetermined, I just took it one day at a time. I remember reaching out to  have a conversation with my mentor about dating and the list of things I planned to look for when I was ready. As I spoke about my list I was abruptly stopped and corrected. And in a very loving way, I was told that when God sent my husband it would be who I needed and not what I wanted. I was advised to throw away the list and be ready to receive what God had for me. It was a message that was hard to swallow, but I was convicted and took it to heart. Little did I know, this very message would be the key factor in me deciding to date my now husband! 

Fast forward one year and I am sitting with him having our first in person date. I remember looking across the table at him as sipped on my tea thinking, "this is a joke"! LOL! Here I was on a date with a guy who was younger than me, bouncing off the walls with energy, describing his future family and he was short..... everything I said I DID NOT WANT in a man! I endured the evening long enough to finish my tea and politely explained to him that I didn't think it would work. I called up my mentor the next day out of frustration and described our date. To my suprise I was met with a laugh and a long pause before hearing,

"Vanika, are you checking the list? What about the other things he has to offer? Do you not remember our conversation? Give him a chance before writing him off based upon unrealistic expectations."

The only reply I could give was,

"Okay, I'll pray on it and give him one more chance!'

One week later I was at work returning from lunch when I found a beautiful bouquet of flowers on my desk. They were followed by a text message asking if we could go out again and give it another try. It was in that moment that I realized I had to get out of my own way if I was ready to give love a try. And that was the best decision I ever made! The very person I thought didn't line up based upon my check list of wants, measured up way beyond my checklist of needs! He embraced my daughters, was educated, had a great job, spoke life into me, believed in my dreams and was on fire for Christ. He was my answered prayer.

I share this story because I know there are many women out there today experiencing what I felt so many years ago. Loneliness and hopelessness, based upon feeling that the baggage you carry is to heavy for any man to accept. I want to encourage you that not matter what "baggage" you think you have it is possible to both find AND be loved! All you have to do is simply submit yourself to the Lord and ask Him to lead you. It may not be an easy or short lived journey, but it will be very possible to experience all the things you dream about at the end of it. I am a living witness!

So today, as I celebrate the answer to my prayer I will also pray for you. That you walk in a season of allowing God to reveal and heal your brokenness, and that He prepares you for the answer to your prayer.

Get rid of the list sis, and let God bring you what you need!

Purposefully Yours,

Lady V

Check out more from Lady V by listening to her Podcast here: https://anchor.fm/vanika-lewis